This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
