I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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