I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
