Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
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She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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