I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
