i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
