you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
