But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize