quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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