If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
