I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
