she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
