just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
