Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
