goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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