part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
