We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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