Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
