dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
