That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
NoShamevember. You game?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
