So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
