Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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