its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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