I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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