I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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