she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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