You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
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My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize