You smell like a Billy Joel song
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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