All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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