I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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