i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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