at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
