Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
