I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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