I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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