No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
did you just send me my own nude
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
