Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
