even my farts smell like vagina
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
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i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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