He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
