Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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