did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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