I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
