I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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