they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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