I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
