He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
