so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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