Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
