he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The adults are the big ones right?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
