Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
