I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
