Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
