Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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