it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
