He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
