Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
