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Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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