You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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