I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
