He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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