Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
