we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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