I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
