When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
